Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Clarity in a moment of panic

They say that when you have a child, your heart walks outside your body. For once, they didn't lie.

Yesterday, I almost died.

My baby got locked in my car. Strapped in her car seat, the key too far for her to reach and a child lock on her door. In the 20 minutes that it took us to break the window and get her out, I kept talking to her from outside her window, smiling wildly so that she wouldn't panic. Yet only I know what it took for me not to completely lose my mind and keep trying different things to get her out. It was as if my heart had seized, as if I couldn't breathe.

And once she was out and I could envelop her in my arms, it all became clear. How futile and insignificant any other emotion is. Yes, I am terribly overworked, usually unappreciated and an emotional wreck. Yet, I know when I hold her at night that she is the reason I exist. Just smelling her hair gives me strength to smile.

Someone asked me what I seek in life. Naive me replied that I wished to be understood, appreciated and wanted. I now realise it was never about me anyways. All I seek is for my Sonu to be safe, loved and happy :) And that is good enough for me...

posted from Bloggeroid

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