To the following commercial institutions, if you were wondering where you are going wrong, here are some tips:
1) Beauty Parlours: If I have come for a hair cut or blow dry, please do NOT tell me what else is wrong with my hair/ skin/ scalp and what (expensive) products I should buy from you to sort it out!
2) Clubs and Discs: If your DJ must insist on playing only house music that just goes dhik chik dhik chik and your dance floor is empty, take a cue and put songs that may have some LYRICS in them!!! I say, go the whole hog, play chammak challo and see how fast your floor fills up. If your DJ is too cool to play these, I say sack him and play a CD!!
3) Hospitals: If I have come to your doors, it means I am already hassled and worried. Please do NOT make me sign 100 forms, buy your loyalty card, make a file and only then allow me to see a doctor.
4) Coffee Shops: I know you need to upsell, but I believe your margins are large enough. I really don’t want added flavours/ ice cream/ hazelnut shots in my coffee. I want a plain cup of coffee.
5) Shops: You may be over staffed, but please don’t follow me like a shadow. I will ask for help when I need it and I really won’t shop lift!!