Friday, 25 September, 2009

"Wanted" Reviewed - Watch at your own risk.

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Q) What does a certain hero do after he's had a flurry of flops and has reached the point where he doesnt care anymore?

Ans) He decides to go out and have a ball.

And thats what Salman Khan did. Let me guess how this happened. Prabhu Deva (yes the same crazy dancer we all love has turned director) and Salman are sitting over a couple of drinks one night where Salman is cribbing about how he's sick of movies and how he mostly sleep walks through them these days. Prabhu Deva in his drunken state, blurts out "Sallu, why dont I make a movie where you have all the fun you want....you can have as many weapons at your disposal as you wish....dance some random steps that people will later hate me for....say what it is that you want...diss your girl....and have some really funny dialogues to ensure you enjoy on the sets". "But Prabhu, what will you do for money"? "I have that figured out....we'll just get someone like Ayesha Takia to prance around, act dumb and pretend that you're god's gift to mankind"!! And the pact was made. Unfortunately, a pact that even Prabhu Deva couldnt get out of once he sobered up and realised what he had done.

And so, Wanted was born.



I mean, come ON. After something like Kaminey, you give me 'Wanted'?? Let me add as a disclaimer that I was dragged against my wishes to the hall to see this film. With all my logical judgement screaming for me not to. But I guess I had to see it to do this social service of telling the world about it.

So my advice? Dont go. Stay home. Watch TV, water the plants, take the dog for a walk. Just dont go watch this.

Why am I being so judgemental you ask? Well, remember the conversation Prabhu and Sallu had? They actually carried out their threat. The movie is an out and out Salman Khan film where he goes around killing whom he wants (he's a hitman who changes gangs for money). For the most part, he looks old, haggard, pudgy and a little too cocky. Give me the shy Salman from Maine Pyaar Kiya anyday....the one who innocently says corny dialogues like "Dosti ki hai...nibhani to padegi hi"!! Surprisingly, the only scene where I thought he looked hot was when he was fully clothed in a uniform but ofcourse he managed to rip off his shirt within 10 seconds of that.

My anger at the film also went up a couple of notches at the director's obsession with Salman and the complete ignoring of other actors. The movie has some great actors like Vinod Khanna who are so brilliantly wasted that future generations will never be able to guess what good performers they really are.

Ayesha Takia is the reason this movie is a commercial hit. She prances around, pouts when asked to and acts like she's the little dainty bird. Someone needs to give her a good shake and tell her to drop the act! Its a shame though, coz she really did some wonderful work in Dor. She has some help in the get-the-rickshaw-walas-to-the-hall-strategy with the gangster's girl who's only purpose was to wear tiny clothes and say things like "oohhh...I like him".

All of this you get a good dose of in the first half and if you're still awake, you will be highly tempted to walk out. Don't. Now that you have spent money and are watching it, stay for the 2nd half because that really is the saving grace.

The ONLY reason I liked the film was surprisingly the 2 villains. Mahesh Manjrekar plays the sleezy cop so well that you almost want to reach into the screen and slap him. Though the award goes to the big daddy hero - Prakash Raj (playing Gani Bhai). The National Award winner from South India has so much fun in the film that you cant help but have fun with him. His witty quips, dark humor and comic timing make him one of the best villains bollywood has seen in the recent past. If only for him, watch this film.

All in all, get a DVD, watch the first hour on mute for eye candy and skip to the 2nd half for Prakash Raj. Watch at your own risk.

Rating: 1.5 on 5 (with 1 for the villains)

Paisa Wasool Moment: When Gani bhai is being bashed up by the cops and he sudenly says "timeout, lets catch our breath". So both of them sit, catch their breath and then start fighting again!

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